tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84741391091536594412024-03-05T15:59:12.534-08:00There's No Place Like Our Home, I Can Promise You.I feel as if our home is not typical, but it seems that more families are like ours. We have a blended family, steps, adoption, and lots of pets. He works crazy shifts. I teach school. So far I don't need any anxiety meds but I think about it often.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-35662368371874213682011-01-10T17:26:00.000-08:002011-01-10T17:30:54.024-08:00I can't believe it has been so long since I've updated. <br /><br />Things are going well. The age of twelve brought not only a new maturity, but a new activity level at school. She is involved in almost everything. <br /><br />She is truly one of those special ones. Once a caseworker told me that there is no hope for children adopted from foster care. How much do I disagree? First, let me say that this is no way bragging, but how my child is already doing.<br /><br />1) A-Team of all athletics she does<br />2) Straight A's.<br />3) National Junior Honor Society<br />4) Band<br />5) Majorette<br /><br />She does fantastic in all she does. She has a drive and a heart that is amazing. <br /><br />So, is she one a million? TO me she is, but there are more who need a chance.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-8045455563376638082010-08-14T18:24:00.000-07:002010-08-14T18:30:34.067-07:00The CornerNot standing in it, but turning it. It seems we have done so this summer. <br /><br />Anyone who has adopted an older child understands attachment and how it can sometimes trigger meltdowns or behaviors when a child feels the attachment isn't secure. We are going on four years now and she has been to two summer camps, had two sleep away from home nights with friends, and walked to the park with friends with no ill effects. I am so happy. <br /><br />Things really do seem to be at a good place right now. She is happy and well behaved. She laughs a lot. She is still a handful, but in the way that any 12 year old girl is. <br /><br />She likes clothes, jewelry, her phone, her friends, and food. <br /><br />I hope this is a way of life forever for us. I'm not sure if these two things had anything to do with it, but I think they do. <br /><br />First, she wanted to cease all mention of adoption and her birthfamily. She chose to close the adoption. I don't think it is the healthiest thing but I am going with it. <br /><br />Second, I gave up the notion of me having all control. It has made things so much better. I wish I would have done it years ago. (just in general)<br /><br />This year should be wonderful for her. She will be in the 7th grade and I am hoping for a banner year.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-38940218310370071172010-08-04T05:23:00.000-07:002010-08-04T05:42:09.872-07:00Summer VacationThis summer is going to set the tone for the rest of her high school years. She has had band camp.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhpKMkOfTwjVIeIpZTCLL_k9BzHWbAKVDOCxdeR-V9BkhnaZn9kMKzY0mDDQ6NxrgxRhbPwvN6jqXAJ-hK2BR25B7J9HOaZ3fIsjb-myJBlqh6P0E7Ij7iy0OIWtIjhWFBaFV0_7jdEKU/s1600/RVW+031.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhpKMkOfTwjVIeIpZTCLL_k9BzHWbAKVDOCxdeR-V9BkhnaZn9kMKzY0mDDQ6NxrgxRhbPwvN6jqXAJ-hK2BR25B7J9HOaZ3fIsjb-myJBlqh6P0E7Ij7iy0OIWtIjhWFBaFV0_7jdEKU/s320/RVW+031.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501530469770089154" /></a><br /> Church camp. Majorette camp.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs4_X2IRFIEUsXgu8tG-vXkGWQhoCul0UlR38PkVk4l8uTdzeDIIwC016OXbTfVXlQtxpeqYk0eNi5rAW_FZtXz-DWAbdkXEognRkJIVWbJSTEt3GDR2Eocf_REmiY0QlLTj_mrRt-e4E/s1600/RVW+026.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs4_X2IRFIEUsXgu8tG-vXkGWQhoCul0UlR38PkVk4l8uTdzeDIIwC016OXbTfVXlQtxpeqYk0eNi5rAW_FZtXz-DWAbdkXEognRkJIVWbJSTEt3GDR2Eocf_REmiY0QlLTj_mrRt-e4E/s320/RVW+026.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501532081358855906" /></a><br /><br /> Volleyball camp. Next week is another majorette camp. She will then march in a parade. She also entered a beauty contest on the spur of the moment, and won.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3t7zbPiUM3pqO031zVxZ9wNPurCl2O_PCZ6u6J5jVXiVfLmRfBZ_3wxNspKesAZ3n1U0gqRsFlVFDrLUnhrsPOqeppELLpgk0Yo11cSzjVp-b1lFv68iZ0y78miXQ5SgKJiuWE-3vBFw/s1600/Alexis+076ab.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3t7zbPiUM3pqO031zVxZ9wNPurCl2O_PCZ6u6J5jVXiVfLmRfBZ_3wxNspKesAZ3n1U0gqRsFlVFDrLUnhrsPOqeppELLpgk0Yo11cSzjVp-b1lFv68iZ0y78miXQ5SgKJiuWE-3vBFw/s320/Alexis+076ab.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501532864390440722" /></a><br /><br /> I was terrified, fearing that if she lost it would crush her fragile self esteem. She also got to do a junior internship at a local vet's office. We ended up with two orphan kittens. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVg4mBhwnf-_06W5RQku4wQHdfj_OBk6Pm5LzeJJJBpiIsgcAD-fT8VABv14aUirPngxcsBDJMs7IvJNhp_lXjmVM-MN-O-Yeb2CeQoj3hqyWKHfx8S1f5Irwa_-QOaK-PxOxW500Ell8/s1600/Alexis+041.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVg4mBhwnf-_06W5RQku4wQHdfj_OBk6Pm5LzeJJJBpiIsgcAD-fT8VABv14aUirPngxcsBDJMs7IvJNhp_lXjmVM-MN-O-Yeb2CeQoj3hqyWKHfx8S1f5Irwa_-QOaK-PxOxW500Ell8/s320/Alexis+041.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501533622424616050" /></a><br /><br /><br />Life is never dull and I'm thankful that she helps keep it exciting.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-47235869274177516992010-06-21T07:41:00.000-07:002010-06-21T08:01:46.798-07:00Fast Fwd....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3NHc0Rzcy2XptfB3p0Pa9Jxzj_aHCXnodiJ5KfjHvid5pqkZ4wQWUX_X33DWFWnWVE_XIlzfBtEr1LlY9KBXSX3Xrrt9h_SLBv_bCpZQ6eGnggJqa2YX9QQkXGX0Dovgt2CClVQ_bkes/s1600/RVW+019.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3NHc0Rzcy2XptfB3p0Pa9Jxzj_aHCXnodiJ5KfjHvid5pqkZ4wQWUX_X33DWFWnWVE_XIlzfBtEr1LlY9KBXSX3Xrrt9h_SLBv_bCpZQ6eGnggJqa2YX9QQkXGX0Dovgt2CClVQ_bkes/s320/RVW+019.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485237647709606994" border="0" /></a><br />The month of May was crazy. Boo had her first dance recital. That was also the day of her 12th birthday.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP46jlO3BQLqCJD1mf8fXA9z0cTalOFjtYLRbZVsym_9gFMNZhH71Bfc8dAUr25Bnl5qcb-VHramXfGVetnRY5_MsTHVCu3eua5FAsoUzCAAJm5CVeTMd2ygxBDJ8ruH28jiybvVmsvyo/s1600/RVW+008.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP46jlO3BQLqCJD1mf8fXA9z0cTalOFjtYLRbZVsym_9gFMNZhH71Bfc8dAUr25Bnl5qcb-VHramXfGVetnRY5_MsTHVCu3eua5FAsoUzCAAJm5CVeTMd2ygxBDJ8ruH28jiybvVmsvyo/s320/RVW+008.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485240897665567138" border="0" /></a><br />She also made the middle school majorette squad.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj18Vi38Bhyphenhyphen392walBBwH6wzyLdlHwWaAO7VRqJ8KZPYSipnerXLdcyWUerHxT60fjAFNBwUUAujAYgynNPtHdjIX_IB0AnB-WXslqxDuP-MAS6to5AlaEpRXqg5mxySalcWKtI1gkXiBs/s1600/Alexis+028.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj18Vi38Bhyphenhyphen392walBBwH6wzyLdlHwWaAO7VRqJ8KZPYSipnerXLdcyWUerHxT60fjAFNBwUUAujAYgynNPtHdjIX_IB0AnB-WXslqxDuP-MAS6to5AlaEpRXqg5mxySalcWKtI1gkXiBs/s320/Alexis+028.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485241451805368450" border="0" /></a>The month of June is almost as busy. She has band camp and other activities going on. She's happy though.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHGllqT8aSotb5oTh7QINojU33VRvOUoCVX4rlSle6CWFD9SuDze0E59tn_i_2MXJxsMfMZyeSrlA0S4c97u1UGtyJb9i_i2xIhDSN9OzE4CmxFIPDjKmBNZzf6N-fWhFIPpfzhLPkSJU/s1600/Alexis+004.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHGllqT8aSotb5oTh7QINojU33VRvOUoCVX4rlSle6CWFD9SuDze0E59tn_i_2MXJxsMfMZyeSrlA0S4c97u1UGtyJb9i_i2xIhDSN9OzE4CmxFIPDjKmBNZzf6N-fWhFIPpfzhLPkSJU/s320/Alexis+004.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485242216869306114" border="0" /></a>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-73612130629556538952010-04-06T18:55:00.001-07:002010-04-06T19:37:32.981-07:00Turning Blue<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRlndtqrilfQG9hauqeLDpU5G2juK8jiHN8f5zEP802zqZzIvqa_EknuhT5nR13CwqbwdGuWTCwnoGsB0Jcq1R7m5h8Ib9QlI_wbCIGuBxR5k-l3OKoGagTn5mZ6mVlCahm41cU3YOHVM/s1600/blue-ribbon.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRlndtqrilfQG9hauqeLDpU5G2juK8jiHN8f5zEP802zqZzIvqa_EknuhT5nR13CwqbwdGuWTCwnoGsB0Jcq1R7m5h8Ib9QlI_wbCIGuBxR5k-l3OKoGagTn5mZ6mVlCahm41cU3YOHVM/s320/blue-ribbon.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457208337617533474" border="0" /></a><br />Repost:<br /><p><b>Every now and then, we do a post that isn't food related at all, but rather related to something that has a special place in our hearts, and this is one of those posts.</b></p> <p><b>It seems that every cause these days has a ribbon, a color, and a month. I don’t think you realize the significance of any of it until you wear a ribbon for someone that you love. Anyone who has watched someone fight breast cancer will tell you that the wearing a pink ribbon really does mean something special, and the people who were the first ones to wear them many years ago will tell you that it has for sure raised awareness of the issue of breast cancer. </b></p> <p><b>So why is blue important to us? April is Nation Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness month and in our careers we have dealt with cases of abuse that we will never forget. We have testified in court, reported abuse that made a life or death difference, and hugged fragile little souls that have been battered beyond belief. </b></p> <p><b>There is one more reason that makes it even more important, one that I almost hesitate to mention. It is almost one of those things that is too personal and once you say it you can never take it back. Like when you squeeze out too much toothpaste, you can never put it back. Our personal story of child abuse in our family is my daughter. Five years ago we began the process of adopting her from foster care. She had spent almost five years there and thankfully, she is one of success stories. We write about her here frequently, and we sincerely hope that seeing how successful she has been will inspire other people to consider adoption. She is bright , beautiful, and I can’t imagine life without her. She has suffered loss and heartache that no child should ever have to endure. </b></p> <p><b>But, I don’t want to make her the poster child for child abuse. No child should be. Ever. I want to tell you how YOU can make a difference. Really there are lots of ways. I want to begin with a story of another child. Even after I adopted I learned that I wasn’t doing my part in my community to fight child abuse. </b></p> <p><b>I have a friend who also adopted a child from foster care, an adorable little girl. (We often say we got the two most beautiful ever) Her daughter’s case carried on even after adoption. There was a criminal sexual abuse case that went to court. Horrors! Did I go to court for her? Did I set there and let her know that she had my support? Did I go to her house the day before her daughter had to testify and pray with her? Did her church? No. I did none of that. I texted. How lame. </b></p> <p><b>Do you know who DID do all of those things and more? A motorcycle gang. Yes, a group of people that are sometimes looked down upon took on the duties that her friends and church should have been doing. They attended court each day. Take that SEXUAL PREDATOR! This taught me so much. BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) are people who know how to fight child abuse. Here are some things that they do.</b></p> <ul><li><b>Know what is considered abuse and report it if you see it. </b></li><li><b>Support your local Child Welfare Board. (BACA is awesome when we have a fundraiser or event)</b></li><li><b>Pray for the children, parents, foster parents, caseworkers, and judges. </b></li><li><b>Support the victims. </b></li><li><b>Be visible in the community that Child Abuse will not be tolerated. </b></li><li><b>Wear Blue on the day set aside for Go Blue day in your area.</b></li><li><b>Ask your Church to participate in<a href="http://www.bluesunday.org/" mce_href="http://www.bluesunday.org/"> Blue Sunday</a></b></li><li><b>Repost this or link to it. Spread the word.<br /></b></li></ul> <b>I had taught many years before I was immersed in the world of foster care and adoption. I thought I knew quite a bit about it, having been involved in several cases. I was wrong. I knew nothing! I didn’t know that neglect accounts for 60% of cases reported AND that severe neglect can rewire a child’s brain. I didn’t know that almost all sexual abuse victims know their assailant, often a family member or close friend. I didn’t know that with work, children can and do recover and have the potential that all others have.<br /></b><dl id="attachment_1279" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 310px;"><dt class="wp-caption-dt"><b><b><img class="size-medium wp-image-1279" title="Book Signing" src="http://www.redvelvetwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Alexis-035ab-300x202.jpg" mce_src="http://www.redvelvetwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Alexis-035ab-300x202.jpg" alt="Chicken Soup For The Soul" width="300" height="202" /></b></b></dt></dl><br /><b><br /></b><p><b>As I said before, I don't want people to look at my child and think of her past. She is more than that and she has already began working to help other children who have been victims of abuse. She has overcome. The ones who can't? The almost four children per day who die in the US due to abuse or neglect. </b></p> <p><b> </b></p> <dl id="attachment_1279" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 310px;"><dt class="wp-caption-dt"><b><b><br /></b></b></dt></dl>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-50905870751829309702010-04-04T03:47:00.001-07:002010-04-04T03:54:17.092-07:00Happy Easter<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKIkr5aZrFh-JS2NO0uLa0w0SdwLclWVeVP8iQ9BeKPVPRltcg1F423hzTsZQiAoTBHXXXbZvJ9pVGHhlCEsbow_FnROaWZkiRWmHle_8b50j1JxHNDoeJyY-nAyLTqfkr9Kts3AGKhU/s1600/Alexis+073.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKIkr5aZrFh-JS2NO0uLa0w0SdwLclWVeVP8iQ9BeKPVPRltcg1F423hzTsZQiAoTBHXXXbZvJ9pVGHhlCEsbow_FnROaWZkiRWmHle_8b50j1JxHNDoeJyY-nAyLTqfkr9Kts3AGKhU/s320/Alexis+073.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456233629903151170" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-4ldHo7zr1jWMFKUbvuIy9K0XX_dYwWwXir3wU7T8y7DqqA_u-q-1uU-BdmrSd5Q4TqkkbK4XxAEMIxM0FPwISv-MwYq7p5MrAN5yVveEibxeL0Oc1IUvWEa0X950UXrqm4F5Ky6oZF0/s1600/Alexis+064.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-4ldHo7zr1jWMFKUbvuIy9K0XX_dYwWwXir3wU7T8y7DqqA_u-q-1uU-BdmrSd5Q4TqkkbK4XxAEMIxM0FPwISv-MwYq7p5MrAN5yVveEibxeL0Oc1IUvWEa0X950UXrqm4F5Ky6oZF0/s200/Alexis+064.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456233230440792786" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ-8nULrSsaTILOsi4NjsMeXiPZGQ3fYpeo9wcvUXUjImtQEWXKF9oJYfpOxS6J0z8EnjOXlNs8MDkl-jpfU7BBhV_COYn9OlbexpamCh8SB8RSX53leZrBeO0tLTbVqD0R7o1YorF41k/s1600/Alexis+021.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ-8nULrSsaTILOsi4NjsMeXiPZGQ3fYpeo9wcvUXUjImtQEWXKF9oJYfpOxS6J0z8EnjOXlNs8MDkl-jpfU7BBhV_COYn9OlbexpamCh8SB8RSX53leZrBeO0tLTbVqD0R7o1YorF41k/s200/Alexis+021.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456232413647371618" border="0" /></a><br />Today she will sing I Will Rise for our church. I am so blessed.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-18428611370859172322010-02-18T18:45:00.000-08:002010-02-18T19:18:54.016-08:00Going AwayI have to go away for two days in a few weeks. Since Boo has been a part of our family, I've never been away overnight. In fact, I hardly go anywhere without her.<br /><br />We spent the first six months <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">together</span>. She was hardly anywhere that I wasn't. It was exhausting but it planted the seed that I was not going to leave her. Once our adoption was final after that six months, I thought I could maybe venture to the grocery store while she stayed home with Dad. No. It took about another year before I could really leave without her fearing it was for good.<br /><br />Things are better but not yet perfect. I feel that they never will be. I hardly go out with friends to eat or see a movie. I'm talking once or twice a year. I wonder how my trip will work on her mind. Is she able to process that she misses me, but I will return? Will she tell herself (and me) that she hates me to lessen the hurt if I don't return?<br /><br />I hope that this is a learning experience for us as a family, and as a mother daughter. I will try to reassure her that I AM coming back and do miss her. I hope that she will someday learn that I am always coming back.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-20980468528262166582010-02-17T17:01:00.000-08:002010-02-17T17:11:25.745-08:00Wordless Wednesday: Snow Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMyhky0JodJn6lJUG527Bgg8VnLnV7K13ZfaRiwmKbbJvcPRTnwBdd2a0QikN7NrGLFcQ5cYcsJYJjNX2d5BeUmoZkB7whuadk3t2KTkwGINBRBvXiqvoiDYntZWNryyQKRS6iN-l7en4/s1600-h/Alexis+013.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMyhky0JodJn6lJUG527Bgg8VnLnV7K13ZfaRiwmKbbJvcPRTnwBdd2a0QikN7NrGLFcQ5cYcsJYJjNX2d5BeUmoZkB7whuadk3t2KTkwGINBRBvXiqvoiDYntZWNryyQKRS6iN-l7en4/s200/Alexis+013.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439383272767796674" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNPl9IpNNr-eqIfGVMn3b3JChZt5OIQKpIYjbaR5BZ0K-Jtnv6M7c8r-MWwWknwcj3xjIH0tDoha9_5z_GiLrMUT7AAQZ6ma1F9Xi77MVYPTUeBzjZqqhDD8ms_qswnJvMwupfd0s74T8/s1600-h/Alexis+076a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNPl9IpNNr-eqIfGVMn3b3JChZt5OIQKpIYjbaR5BZ0K-Jtnv6M7c8r-MWwWknwcj3xjIH0tDoha9_5z_GiLrMUT7AAQZ6ma1F9Xi77MVYPTUeBzjZqqhDD8ms_qswnJvMwupfd0s74T8/s200/Alexis+076a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439382692981306642" border="0" /></a>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-46956627812031573402010-02-13T20:18:00.000-08:002010-02-13T20:21:13.781-08:00Born In My Heart---a Valentine for my DaughterThey say in adoption that your child was born in your heart. <a href="http://www.redvelvetwisdom.com/2010/02/12/born-in-my-heart-a-valentine-for-my-daughter/">This is day </a>ours was born. You can check out the link <a href="http://www.redvelvetwisdom.com/2010/02/12/born-in-my-heart-a-valentine-for-my-daughter/">here. </a>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-20443593448219848842010-02-03T16:26:00.000-08:002010-02-03T16:33:33.161-08:00Wordless Wednesday: Boo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMiDyInfD2sYHiO8Z5LeMKgJaqxq3vbHSEhLGC4MGyzfde2Qf3lH7yh4Nq0yM3LO52iBypJ9hNIa67Nt2H2Qj1O1aITZY-QTv6r_gnTXqJhpYGmNp_67UPrZNQsz-uiCySN0orx5tRDWA/s1600-h/Alexis+004a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMiDyInfD2sYHiO8Z5LeMKgJaqxq3vbHSEhLGC4MGyzfde2Qf3lH7yh4Nq0yM3LO52iBypJ9hNIa67Nt2H2Qj1O1aITZY-QTv6r_gnTXqJhpYGmNp_67UPrZNQsz-uiCySN0orx5tRDWA/s200/Alexis+004a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434178597142486194" border="0" /></a>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-73249378480839527072010-01-31T13:24:00.001-08:002010-01-31T13:30:57.546-08:00Nature vs. Nurture<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWnlfBb3Bsa1m98xpnOfbg106QXNV_tMAKLkJbTcuvq8tO8CF0txToV1FwZRasqiUa-ut1Xy7xBdad3PK0Z0nMm_y8cctgVzHhVzinWtOZVsE4q4bvD9UWSuFSpQjVXhBHp3WCg71KOGY/s1600-h/Alexis+087ghgfrne.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWnlfBb3Bsa1m98xpnOfbg106QXNV_tMAKLkJbTcuvq8tO8CF0txToV1FwZRasqiUa-ut1Xy7xBdad3PK0Z0nMm_y8cctgVzHhVzinWtOZVsE4q4bvD9UWSuFSpQjVXhBHp3WCg71KOGY/s200/Alexis+087ghgfrne.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433019558447269202" border="0" /></a><br />Nature vs. nurture. I've wondered for a while which is stronger.<br /><br />It really has me wondering things. She has some kind of unheard of talent in all areas. First, she is brilliant. She is the smartest thing I can track down in either adopted or bio family. Second, she is athletic. Again, some history. Third, anything she does she learns quickly. You know the pattern here.<br /><br />She has picked up one of my hobbies. Yes, it helps to have a nice camera and lens, but look at what she took. Amazing?Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-6386956684064094052009-12-28T09:58:00.000-08:002009-12-28T10:06:52.381-08:00I Know<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY_6wO9W-q-HQSf3q72l-LuflLxDA9JNSie0a88awXZOkbN3JNXqkuLWr7G3ewszFLPGk-JJgdxCEdn6vnCmCwZOmCuR9uu-LjUUaoVte5HMUWrBOlhsBpzRhFM4v25dXbdd1NsxJwB5I/s1600-h/Alexis+004a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY_6wO9W-q-HQSf3q72l-LuflLxDA9JNSie0a88awXZOkbN3JNXqkuLWr7G3ewszFLPGk-JJgdxCEdn6vnCmCwZOmCuR9uu-LjUUaoVte5HMUWrBOlhsBpzRhFM4v25dXbdd1NsxJwB5I/s200/Alexis+004a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420349557457979394" border="0" /></a><br />It has been forever since an update. So much has happened that I can't even begin to fill it all in. We did a lot of adoption related stuff and it was wonderful. We had the opportunity to share our story on a local TV station, a magazine, and newspapers. It was all for National Adoption Day. We even spoke at the local National Adoption Day ceremony in our neighboring town.<br /><br />Of course, the star looked beautiful at everything.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-28436680299417278172009-08-12T20:19:00.000-07:002009-08-12T20:24:28.713-07:00I Cut!...or "Dreaming of Blue Water"<br /><br />AJ has always wanted a pedicure. I've taken her to get her nails painted but felt she was too young for the feet in the water pedi. After having a good report from her Dr. about her foot fracture, we went to get pedicures.<br /><br />She had the little guy that is quiet and gentle. I'll bet he spent 30 minutes just massaging her feet. Me? I got the girl that is speedy. She got into my almost ingrown toenail and went to town. I tried to let her know it was painful but leaning up, groaning, and even screaming. She never even flinched. She looked at me and smiled (all the while digging in my big toe with a razor sharp knife) and said, "I cut!"<br /><br /> Yes, you did. Then she got some sharp tools and dug around. I was clenched in a tight ball by the time she started on my cuticles. Meanwhile, princess is being massaged.<br /><br />It was a fun day. It was also something she has dreamed of for years. I'm glad we got to do it, even if I got the short end of the stick.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-10290941196970002952009-08-07T18:57:00.001-07:002009-08-07T19:09:31.160-07:00In The End...To pull all the corners together of the last two posts, I would say that we have smoothed out pretty much most of our initial fear of each other, AJ and I.<br /><br />My fear of the unknown was the worst. I didn't know what made her laugh. Who knew that she had a sick and depraved sense of humor like Dale and myself? I don't even know if it would be considered emotionally healthy to laugh at some of the things we do, but I certainly know it isn't proper.<br /><br />I was afraid she would never love me. I guess that is the bottom line. I didn't 'know' her. Yes, I had known her on the surface for two years or more. But I didn't know her as a person. She had a habit of telling people what they wanted to hear for a while. It really was hard to get inside her head and find out what she really was thinking. Sometimes I'm not sure I've made it there. I do know that she loves me. That wasn't an overnight thing though.<br /><br />In promoting attachment I found them to work both ways. I found myself becoming protective of her even if I still was confused and exhausted. Once the new wore off, we started learning about each other. I had a lot of lost time to make up for. Some of the things...she hated. For instance, I made a mix CD for her with songs that had special meanings. She hated it and would <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">not</span> listen to it. The pink baby blanket with her name on it? She loves to this day.<br /><br />I can hardly remember life without her. She doesn't like to address adoption and wishes we never discussed it. I don't like to dwell on it but can't help but honor how our family is built. The adoption process has rewired the way I think and react to situations. It is a presence in our life that is neither good nor bad. It just is.<br /><br />I think that all things have worked out in the end. The people who had strong faith never wavered. I'm glad I have them to hold onto.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-91058243572610454262009-08-04T13:48:00.000-07:002009-08-04T14:10:40.989-07:00Unplanned, Part 2Yes, I was terrified of my daughter on day one. She was so sweet. She hugged everyone and had fabulous social skills. Since I had spent the past nine months or so immersed in the study of older child adoption, those were all red flags. Yes, the more adjusted she appeared the worse she probably was. She had not been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but I knew that we were going to hit attachment issues even in the best of situations.<br /><br />We spent the first few weeks with me spending every waking second with her. I teach school so even though I wasn't beside her, she knew I was there. I woke her up, chose her clothes, dressed her as you would a baby, I prepared her breakfast and then did her hair. After school we did things together and then when it was around 6:00 I had her get a shower. We then watched a little TV until 7:00 and then I got into bed with her. We read a book or watched TV or talked.<br /><br />I have to be honest that the attachment worked both ways. I had to fall in love with her. At first it was so difficult. Her heart was as hard as a rock. Yes, she smiled and giggled and had decent manners. But it wasn't real. I realized that when I heard her really laugh for the first time. It broke my heart that I had her fake laugh for weeks as real.<br /><br />We did laugh, and we still do. She used to say, "Make me laugh, Momma." And I try. Sometimes I have to say something shocking but she still laughs. We have attached. I even laugh at her sometimes.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/Dnaymay/March010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 451px; height: 799px;" src="http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/Dnaymay/March010.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This picture was taken during her first few weeks at home. We did a lot of sidewalk chalk and she danced on a regular basis. She's outgrown the chalk but still dances.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-9773235086828006972009-08-03T13:16:00.000-07:002009-08-03T13:48:21.083-07:00Unplanned ChildrenMy daughter was a surprise to us. We met her a year before we began the process of adopting her. When the idea of adopting a child presented itself to us, we were pretty much looking at life as people who were almost to the finish line of child raising. We had about 3 years to go and we were free.<br /><br />Then my husband uttered his famous last words. "I guess all of this will work unless a little girl falls in our laps."<br /><br />The next day she stopped by my classroom on the way to the library and announced that was going to be making a video, airing for the purpose of finding a family for her. I knew at that very moment that a little girl had just landed in my lap. If only it had been that easy.<br /><br />We actually had more of a thought process about that just random "Oh we will grab the first child we see". We prayed. We talked. We wondered how we could do something we thought was never going to be a possibility. Then we decided to at least try and see what the powers that be said to us.<br /><br />They said no. Then they said yes. Then No. Then Sure. Then maybe. Then Never. Then finally, Yes. But only if. It was a process like no other. Our marriage was tested beyond any limits it had been stretched before. It peeled away layers of our soul that the other had never seen. Sounds corny but spend months reliving your childhood, all previous losses, and everything else you've ever done: Write about it 3 times and then be interviewed twice. You will learn a thing or twelve.<br /><br />As insane as the fight to her was, the actual 'getting' her was a shock to my system. We were driving home with her. She fell asleep. I looked at her and wondered...<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">What in the name of all that is Holy have I done?</span></span> I had a vague remembrance of the whole mountain o'crap that we had been through to get her. It was wiped clean pretty much. I was now blown away by the fact that WE were responsible for this child. This innocent child who had probably been through more in her short life that all of us put together. How on earth could we parent her? What had we done?<br /><br />While I was terrified and throwing up all the time, Dale was as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. He was confident that once she ever was handed over to us, she was ours. It was as if she had always been ours to him. I'm thrilled that he had such faith.<br /><br />Me, I was still scared. Right now I can't really elaborate as this small child is over my shoulder, wanting some one on one time.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-52162073812824495142009-08-02T05:40:00.000-07:002009-08-02T05:49:44.276-07:00We're not in Texas anymore....Yesterday we made the short drive to Arkansas to visit my mother. Right before we adopted we had a plan to start building down there and eventually move. The adoption changed our course though. AJ really does want to live there, even though you look out the back door and see this.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/Dnaymay/Alexis027.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/Dnaymay/Alexis027.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />We thought we had life planned and had a surprise. Our baby girl. I don't know if our path in life changed or if she helped us stay on the one meant for us. Either way, we are going in the right direction now.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/Dnaymay/Alexis048.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 422px; height: 281px;" src="http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l161/Dnaymay/Alexis048.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-19087261422975273052009-07-31T07:56:00.000-07:002009-07-31T08:25:45.236-07:00Genetics vs. ???My mother and my daughter are almost identical in many ways. I'm not sure how it can even be possible to be so much alike since my daughter is adopted. It is almost like I am raising a child version of my mother. Not just the fact that both are dark haired with dark eyes. It is more than that. While I love my mother and daughter more than I can convey in words, these things they do annoy me. How did I end up with two people so much alike so close to me?<br /><br />1) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Utter disregard for organization.</span> I knew that AJ was like my mother the very first time we colored together. Me, I take a box of crayons and try to keep them in some form of order, usually by the spectrum and by which needs to be used so that some aren't dull and some sharp. My daughter? She took the brand new box and dumped them out before I could say a word. She stirred them up and never looked back. My mother does the same thing, often dumping things in her purse or any drawer that can hold anything.<br /><br />2) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lid? What lid?</span> Neither one ever places a lid on anything. Toothpaste, ketchup, peroxide...if it has a lid then it goes without once they touch it.<br /><br />3) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Anything that is mine is up for grabs.</span> When I was growing up, nothing was sacred in my room. Not because she was nosy, but because she might wander in, carelessly pick up my hairbrush, and then maybe not lay it down until she was, oh, at the barn. AJ does the same thing. I found my roll of scotch tape on the loveseat yesterday. Who knows why.<br /><br />4) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Obession with tape.</span> This sounds crazy but they both are nuts about tape. I have to have a secret hiding place for my tape because if either one ever see it, it is gone. My mother has a tape dispenser that is for industrial use. She has already used a few and I don't really know why she needs it. I do know that it is loud and she can use it for hours on end. She has also wanted to buy one for AJ. I don't think she's old enough for a 'tape gun', as Mother calls it.<br /><br />5) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Both are fast food junkies. </span>They are the only two people I have ever seen cry over the lack of fast food. Mother had a melt down when her arm was broken and dad was cooking. She couldn't drive, he hates chicken and pretty much the lived on tuna straight from the can and bananas for weeks. She called me in tears sayings, "I THINK I WILL DIE IF I DON'T GET SOME CHURCH'S CHICKEN TODAY". I had a similar experience with AJ when we tried to go 30 days with no McDonald's. After about day 10 she was crying, "I'm JUST A KID! I NEED McDONALD'S".<br /><br />6) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Both will take the advice of a stranger over my advice. </span>How many times have I heard from my mother, "A lady in the check out line at K-Mart said....". Really? I told you that six months ago. Listen to me. AJ will do the same thing.<br /><br />7) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Both are nudists. </span>Only at home. They hate to feel the confinement of chothes. It seems my whole life I have had to wait to open the door so that SOMEONE can get dressed,<br /><br />8) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Both are extreme animal lovers.</span> I've seen my mother spend days without sleep just to try to save a newborn animal, be it calf, kitten or puppy. Nothing was really beyond trying. My daughter has the same love and compasion. Not a bad thing, but heartwrenching at times.<br /><br />9) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sleep must be had. </span>Both require at least 8 hours of sleep. If this isn't had, someone will pay dearly. Now, they may miss a night for something, but it will be made up. I promise. And if you wake them up before the required amount, you may as well wake a wild gorilla. Both can nap anything it is cool and dark. My mother has slept at the movie theater. AJ still falls alseep in the car.<br /><br />10) <span style="font-weight: bold;">They feel they have to right all wrongs done in their presence. </span>Someone shoplifting. Mom screams for security. I wouldn't be shocked if someone shanked her, probably at K-Mart. Didn't follow Robert's Rules of Order? She will let you know. Or she would, back in the day. AJ does the same thing. Someone was picking on a neighborhood kid and she got up in their face and told them to leave her property and never come back or she would have a restraining order. The bully was about three times her size and could have squashed her. She also left me sister a note once about cursing. Funny.<br /><br />There are more, many more. They cry when they have fever. They laugh at me when I can't find something. They hate a schedule. They don't want to be vegetarians. I've wondered if this is some cosmic joke, if God laughs out loud when he sees me looking for tape and a gift bag, only to find them crammed under her bed full of rocks. Who knows.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-52008271280474054502009-07-27T17:55:00.000-07:002009-07-27T18:15:46.298-07:00Rehab: Family StyleMy mother has had two eye surgeries this summer. She was pretty much without any sight until her first surgery. She hasn't driven in a year, and has just stayed home. They live on a farm in Arkansas, and she has relied on my dad and brother to help her out. I won't elaborate on that point. Not now at least.<br /><br />We all knew that she would need to stay somewhere to recover properly. She couldn't risk an infection and had to have three different drops four times per day. She also couldn't risk falling as she takes blood thinners for a heart problem. My dad was going to be working in the hayfield, and as any farmer knows, hay comes first. It was either stay with my older brother or come over here. SHe has stayed with them in the past and I did want her to come and try to relax here.<br /><br />She agreed. I was not sure what to expect at first. To be honest, we haven't spent so much time together lately. We talk on the phone daily, even multiple times. But as far as doing lunch or shopping....no. Something about living 40 miles apart, me working, her not being able to drive, KIDS has all but put a squash on me having any type of social life. I didn't realize how much it adds to a relationship to see, feel, and laugh with a person in real time rather than just talking on the phone.<br /><br />Mom was able to relax. She made herself at home and we had a big time. AJ is very much like my mother (even though adopted) and they both spent the first rehab time eating junk food and doing things I don't like. But we all had a blast and mom rested. She also realized that she was blind when she began to see again.<br /><br />Her last surgery wasn't as successful. She came back to stay and had to be extra careful with the eye that might never see. We were all worried but within a few days she had some vision and some energy. She was up and ready to do all the things she has been missing out on the last year. Instead of afternoon naps with her like the first surgery, she was sending me on errands and having me go to the store for her.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik4qpm4uSN_p79JkGYOk4pufLJwTH3oBJk_6QzJqjFo70PG7K_SvFn8LlLHEbWCwzg5-H4JMoJZJlFL0n93PMY5kLlWAeo7zyR2flgHKUhygy92Xstkkr_lVZrBB1l6CDRfXw0Rq5TJZg/s1600-h/food+013.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik4qpm4uSN_p79JkGYOk4pufLJwTH3oBJk_6QzJqjFo70PG7K_SvFn8LlLHEbWCwzg5-H4JMoJZJlFL0n93PMY5kLlWAeo7zyR2flgHKUhygy92Xstkkr_lVZrBB1l6CDRfXw0Rq5TJZg/s200/food+013.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363311792501686994" border="0" /></a><br />She also couldn't stand that we had about 50 lbs of tomatoes from the garden and no time to can them. She began to cook and she cooked and cooked some more. She had three days of cooking and I don't remember seeing her so happy in a long time. We also loved the great food and wonderful c<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6K4IpISlxrGqgZo_R3wshMlzbxG1t1pZjYeSgCqFdvbfFMbW8eHA1_1gJIqte7lh15lP8v7zFN32aXXWwBRza5aSCUiyHLOiD4qEslztqlmd8ohY5RAoaZx_03oMJK8CzoccXFuJxFLg/s1600-h/food+016.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6K4IpISlxrGqgZo_R3wshMlzbxG1t1pZjYeSgCqFdvbfFMbW8eHA1_1gJIqte7lh15lP8v7zFN32aXXWwBRza5aSCUiyHLOiD4qEslztqlmd8ohY5RAoaZx_03oMJK8CzoccXFuJxFLg/s200/food+016.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363312840974300002" border="0" /></a>onversations. I keep playing many of them back in my mind long after she has gone home to Dad.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTw6z-WokjAsrAxdMa-bkRHcuWDWsxMxm6X0Cxrv_B6fkU2WhxVsZ9EqYtxAsNZ72t3e8V_cfn4MeFHyht6O50btbl3eKMOQ0sR7bf1VXw6Sf2q8b7qDeO9s2bmf1xGZ8L7UtEV3mPNJI/s1600-h/food+017.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTw6z-WokjAsrAxdMa-bkRHcuWDWsxMxm6X0Cxrv_B6fkU2WhxVsZ9EqYtxAsNZ72t3e8V_cfn4MeFHyht6O50btbl3eKMOQ0sR7bf1VXw6Sf2q8b7qDeO9s2bmf1xGZ8L7UtEV3mPNJI/s200/food+017.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363313454473714306" border="0" /></a><br />She has heart surgery in a few days. Of course, I worry. I want her to come back and stay again. Maybe we won't expect her to cook this time.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-23749734136790118202009-07-26T11:38:00.000-07:002009-07-26T11:49:22.734-07:00WellnessYesterday AJ and I volunteered at a local Wellness Fair. I was representing the Child Welfare Board of our county. I volunteered to help and was appointed to the board last year.<br /><br />Hopefully these events will bring awareness to our area of the great need we have.<br /><br />1) We need donations for our rainbow room. This is an emergency resource room that caseworkers pull to help a child who has just been removed. So many kids need clothes, diapers, formula, shoes, ect. This room is ran 100% on donations nd by volunteers.<br /><br />2) We need to help our kids in foster care. Yes, foster parents get money put it is not much. These kids also need school clothes. Our board gives $75 for back to school clothes and supplies. That is a joke, really. I'm about to lay out $600 on a clarinet in a few weeks and foster families get no help for that. The need for these kids is endless. Camp, senior rings, prom, Easter, ect.<br /><br />3) We need foster/adoptive families. This is the hardest thing you will ever do. It is also the most rewarding.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP7QG50grvN2o0kF40tu95L9zUpyQWNpxIwrc5OfA8KAslvS9VhJHy8Fw6mJHZMiT0kcCJ5GrkR_XvmBIbqtbMQYU_7Xt-t6CWk-4mPrn-U0u3JUUHhB8VJE2ExmF7fjrPhI6QDdeZjVg/s1600-h/ninny+011.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP7QG50grvN2o0kF40tu95L9zUpyQWNpxIwrc5OfA8KAslvS9VhJHy8Fw6mJHZMiT0kcCJ5GrkR_XvmBIbqtbMQYU_7Xt-t6CWk-4mPrn-U0u3JUUHhB8VJE2ExmF7fjrPhI6QDdeZjVg/s200/ninny+011.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362842818248611538" border="0" /></a><br />My rewards have been indescribable. I have a daughter who is beautiful, talented, and smart. She is funny and sensitive. She can sing, dance, and write. Her story will soon be published in Chicken Soup For The Soul. I can go on and on.<br /><br />What I want people to know is that there is a need and you can help./Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-71171352559475169402009-07-25T06:22:00.000-07:002009-07-25T06:32:22.063-07:00Fresh.I can't remember where I left off. Pretty much, Mom has had two eye surgeries, one was successful, one not. The Dr. wasn't sure she would even have vision in the one eye. I wasn't sure it would ever look normal again. Thankfully, she can see a little and it looks OK.<br /><br />AJ is fine.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6acoXANziFAfg2pfLj9LhyphenhyphenaBkApE-J4ecJSixXc5DzvfwuCez1Ss1ktMKTlvIhXBoL_cBDL8V3F92J46LbgTJwB5yUPmcYabrnJOsznH341cYTSNfhZIHK1kpdYuqdNyEO6NYGxIWFgs/s1600-h/weston+026a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6acoXANziFAfg2pfLj9LhyphenhyphenaBkApE-J4ecJSixXc5DzvfwuCez1Ss1ktMKTlvIhXBoL_cBDL8V3F92J46LbgTJwB5yUPmcYabrnJOsznH341cYTSNfhZIHK1kpdYuqdNyEO6NYGxIWFgs/s200/weston+026a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362389041655657762" border="0" /></a> She's glad to be home from church camp. Dale and I had one day where we were both off and child free and we spent it baby sitting my 5 month old nephew. We are wild.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I also took pictures of a brand new baby. He was precious. I could take newborn pictures all day everyday.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisZI7OtZ7hzXqEU_IITXX_E2LRwE3RagzqcVSrVRBh_dXqE6iXNo8npueeYP-2owsr1fvxTE32PfGuxc8eZsvGAnllGjB6yQpJap3rmWAMd65b1Y_wTwL3S2Aef4kDDa6V3wO2VQzG1mk/s1600-h/bennett+048a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisZI7OtZ7hzXqEU_IITXX_E2LRwE3RagzqcVSrVRBh_dXqE6iXNo8npueeYP-2owsr1fvxTE32PfGuxc8eZsvGAnllGjB6yQpJap3rmWAMd65b1Y_wTwL3S2Aef4kDDa6V3wO2VQzG1mk/s200/bennett+048a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362389864327205778" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Mother and I (mostly her) have been canning salsa. We still have about 50 lbs of tomatoes to go. I'm ready to give or throw the rest away. I couldn't have been a pioneer woman.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-3428440776979746112009-07-15T18:32:00.001-07:002009-07-15T18:36:50.913-07:00All By MyselfThis hasn't happened in years. I'm all alone. (if you don't count the animals)<br /><br />Even more rare, Dale and I will have two nights and days alone and he is off work for them. We pretty much plan to stay home and maybe go eat. We are exciting like that.<br /><br />AJ is at camp. I do hate to let her go at all because it seems to mess with her attachment. Last year was her first year to go and she did fine but was so afraid that somehow, we sent her away for good. She knew better but it was a thought somewhere deep in her mind.<br /><br />This year she has a cell phone and can call. I also made her cards for morning and night to open and read. I tried to say "I miss you but want you to stay there" as best I could.<br /><br />So here I am. I have dishes to do. Aren't you jealous?Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-62708363376784221332009-07-08T05:01:00.000-07:002009-07-08T05:04:25.468-07:00Giving CareGiving care is not the same as being a caregiver. My mother is having eye surgery and will probably be coming to stay with me a few days. Not a big deal for most people but she is on huge amounts of blood thinners.<br /><br />I'm not a good nurse. I can stop blood and change bandages, but I'm not good beyond that. I'm compassionate and will sit with anyone at the hospital for as long as I need. But I don't have what it takes to be a nurse. Even when AJ was on the crutches for a few days, I was frazzled by the noise.<br /><br />So, Mom will be here for a few days. Part of me is really looking forward to it. Part of me dreads it. Ack.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-40558550562156610032009-07-04T19:12:00.000-07:002009-07-04T19:20:40.607-07:004th of July 2009<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwa9yJJ_WNnZI0hVLFgsqL8o_DNz2cslLMuRjb5sFMzdxaBAbVvM-EGhUnE7TMwQh8pHG2kW5-UNTEh0RrkIeEPEwdCwv4LC9pjm7yKr6N7Aj5Bx2AE0Aoj3UL6FZVG1A4ySC0IvqJtmc/s1600-h/Alexis+009a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwa9yJJ_WNnZI0hVLFgsqL8o_DNz2cslLMuRjb5sFMzdxaBAbVvM-EGhUnE7TMwQh8pHG2kW5-UNTEh0RrkIeEPEwdCwv4LC9pjm7yKr6N7Aj5Bx2AE0Aoj3UL6FZVG1A4ySC0IvqJtmc/s320/Alexis+009a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354794810454149170" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />So far, a great day.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg-aVjmsvdSKzTTCe7SDIJlro_0Px6OsTd8EISH6LhlX_aGcK5COnXnQHyQHoJhpcKUSCD5dA4Qvy4ZDMAE9MGL5iJK_YqaJHXlP7WzrdNR3IZEjGcWcMnC8PvYjaSRsWBGiMlDdIKeZs/s1600-h/Alexis+002.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg-aVjmsvdSKzTTCe7SDIJlro_0Px6OsTd8EISH6LhlX_aGcK5COnXnQHyQHoJhpcKUSCD5dA4Qvy4ZDMAE9MGL5iJK_YqaJHXlP7WzrdNR3IZEjGcWcMnC8PvYjaSRsWBGiMlDdIKeZs/s320/Alexis+002.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354793462046918418" border="0" /></a>Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8474139109153659441.post-39842329004967943642009-07-03T18:35:00.000-07:002009-07-03T18:43:11.830-07:00HomeI haven't left the house at all today. I was going to go get groceries but I had a bad start to the morning with AJ and she has pretty much slept all day. She got up twice but went back to bed. She didn't even eat lunch. That is unusual for her. I think the night of missed sleep and a few pain pills in the last few days have caught up with her.<br /><br />All in all, I think her attachment to us is very good. Older child adoptions have to work on attachment and bonding. We did, it was hard, and I may write about it all someday. My point in talking about it now is that when something like this happens she tends to regress a little in the attachment area.<br /><br />She wants me in her sight at all times. If she goes to the bathroom when we are out, she wants me with her. If she is here, she wants to be right under me. If I try to do something else I hear, "Mom, don't you love me and want to take care of me?".<br /><br />These days are hard for me. She clings and whines and I try to be patient. To be honest, I was happy that she slept so much today. I then felt a load of guilt so I didn't enjoy it all that much.Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10907630469410050473noreply@blogger.com0