Wordless Wednesday: Snow Day

Born In My Heart---a Valentine for my Daughter

They say in adoption that your child was born in your heart. This is day ours was born. You can check out the link here.

Wordless Wednesday: Boo

Nature vs. Nurture

Nature vs. nurture. I've wondered for a while which is stronger.

It really has me wondering things. She has some kind of unheard of talent in all areas. First, she is brilliant. She is the smartest thing I can track down in either adopted or bio family. Second, she is athletic. Again, some history. Third, anything she does she learns quickly. You know the pattern here.

She has picked up one of my hobbies. Yes, it helps to have a nice camera and lens, but look at what she took. Amazing?

I Know

It has been forever since an update. So much has happened that I can't even begin to fill it all in. We did a lot of adoption related stuff and it was wonderful. We had the opportunity to share our story on a local TV station, a magazine, and newspapers. It was all for National Adoption Day. We even spoke at the local National Adoption Day ceremony in our neighboring town.

Of course, the star looked beautiful at everything.

I Cut!

...or "Dreaming of Blue Water"

AJ has always wanted a pedicure. I've taken her to get her nails painted but felt she was too young for the feet in the water pedi. After having a good report from her Dr. about her foot fracture, we went to get pedicures.

She had the little guy that is quiet and gentle. I'll bet he spent 30 minutes just massaging her feet. Me? I got the girl that is speedy. She got into my almost ingrown toenail and went to town. I tried to let her know it was painful but leaning up, groaning, and even screaming. She never even flinched. She looked at me and smiled (all the while digging in my big toe with a razor sharp knife) and said, "I cut!"

Yes, you did. Then she got some sharp tools and dug around. I was clenched in a tight ball by the time she started on my cuticles. Meanwhile, princess is being massaged.

It was a fun day. It was also something she has dreamed of for years. I'm glad we got to do it, even if I got the short end of the stick.

In The End...

To pull all the corners together of the last two posts, I would say that we have smoothed out pretty much most of our initial fear of each other, AJ and I.

My fear of the unknown was the worst. I didn't know what made her laugh. Who knew that she had a sick and depraved sense of humor like Dale and myself? I don't even know if it would be considered emotionally healthy to laugh at some of the things we do, but I certainly know it isn't proper.

I was afraid she would never love me. I guess that is the bottom line. I didn't 'know' her. Yes, I had known her on the surface for two years or more. But I didn't know her as a person. She had a habit of telling people what they wanted to hear for a while. It really was hard to get inside her head and find out what she really was thinking. Sometimes I'm not sure I've made it there. I do know that she loves me. That wasn't an overnight thing though.

In promoting attachment I found them to work both ways. I found myself becoming protective of her even if I still was confused and exhausted. Once the new wore off, we started learning about each other. I had a lot of lost time to make up for. Some of the things...she hated. For instance, I made a mix CD for her with songs that had special meanings. She hated it and would not listen to it. The pink baby blanket with her name on it? She loves to this day.

I can hardly remember life without her. She doesn't like to address adoption and wishes we never discussed it. I don't like to dwell on it but can't help but honor how our family is built. The adoption process has rewired the way I think and react to situations. It is a presence in our life that is neither good nor bad. It just is.

I think that all things have worked out in the end. The people who had strong faith never wavered. I'm glad I have them to hold onto.